SEARCHING FOR MY UBIQUITOUS SOUL; PART ONE OF TWO.


Last night I dreamed I was baking banana bread.  I know, some dream of yachting with George Clooney in Italy - me, I'm baking. Go figure.  While baking said banana bread, I cracked open an egg and inside that egg was another egg. 

Upon inspection the first egg had a tiny window in it, for the inside egg to look out of.  Isn't that so strange? I thought of many possible explanations for this dream.  I concluded that we are all inhabiting a shell - the body - and that the eyes are our window.  But the fact that this egg had one window pointed out that my intuition is the most important vision - and that is bestowed by one eye - the third eye. I've been reading a lot about the pineal gland lately and the brow chakra, so it's no surprise to me that the answers to so many questions I have come in a dream guised as an egg, waiting to be cracked open and discovered.  
But something else has also been cracked open.  
Me. 
By sobriety.  

Getting sober last May was the greatest gift I could have given myself.  The steps taken to achieving this were laid like small mosaic tiles in a larger picture that I didn't see until it began to take shape.  Once I stood back and took a look however, the picture was brilliant, and I see that each tile was a choice, each carefully laid in it's right spot as a decision, a choice point, a dream, a promise or a grave mistake. All of these tiles together created the possibility for me to stop taking this horrific drug and for not beating myself up for not being able to tolerate it like a "normal" person.  No normal person can withstand a toxic, carcinogenic drug.  Alcohol is, a toxic and carcinogenic drug that in no way benefits humanity.  So with my eyes on the horizon and feet firmly rooted in my new belief, I set out to create the life I so desperately wanted.  A life of freedom.  

I was in search of my ubiquitous soul.

It was a long time coming.  I was super jealous of friends who didn't drink.  It was like they had a freedom that I didn't have, that their soul was somehow more ubiquitous because they had no "ball and chain" like I did.  Well damn it I wanted the omnipresence they possessed, the vastness of soul, the vibe of being crutchless.  What a curse it is to traverse through life affected by alcohol at every turn.  All decisions revolving around it.  All plans orchestrated to accomodate it.  This alcohol - it's a ferocious, time-sucking beast.  I wanted it dead.  It was high time for the Jabberwocky to be slayed.  And like Alice In Wonderland, I needed to say the words.  

"Count them, Alice. 
One, there are drinks that make you shrink. 
Two, there are foods that make you grow. 
Three, animals can talk. 
Four, cats can disappear. 
Five, there is a place called Underland. 
Six, I can slay the Jabberwocky."  




Part Two will publish tomorrow.  If you wish to comment please do so at honeybee_living on Instagram.  Thank you and much love, it's far easier to manage the social media from one place. Instagram is my hOMe away from hOMe.

I love your soul  
xoG