"The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire. Just as a single sick person can start an epidemic of the flu, so too can a small but precisely targeted push cause a fashion trend, the popularity of a new product, or a drop in the crime rate."
The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell
Toying in recent years with the idea of becoming a teetotaler, I had never really embraced the "aha" moment until it struck me like a bolt of lightning out of the blue. It was a definitive moment in time, that I just knew it was all over for me and alcohol. I had reached my tolerance level for my own drinking behaviours (which are different and personal to everyone), and lo - for me it was my tipping point.The point where all my little promises and little intentions added up to one grand movement that finally stuck for good. A thousand mornings previously I had woken up and said, "I'm never doing that again." But this particular morning for me was different. Something had changed in me. The decision had been made and I found the will power to see it through. One day at a time.
For you who are searching your own hearts about the how's and why's you drink the way you do, it pays to actually start to listen to those moments of silence. Not when the voice is loud and scared and full of fear. Because when fear leads, chaos follows.
It's about tuning in to the space that is beyond the body and mind, the true you. The one that dwells beyond the puppet show and is observing this behaviour from a crystal clear standpoint, patiently waiting for you to acknowledge that you do indeed have the power to stop this and create the life you always imagined you can have.
Perhaps you aren't there yet. Maybe there are just inklings that you have a drinking issue. For me it was this way. Tiny regrets. Little moments of shame. Mixed in with moments of highly functioning daily life (but still, at the end of the day, funnily enough - required a glass of wine, or two.) Even if you aren't there yet, you may be getting close. After all - you are reading this.
My tipping point came at a moment in my life when finally after years of making excuses for myself and even forgiving myself for drinking too much I decided the scales were in my favour to put the wine down. Forever. I wanted to feel good everyday. I wanted to have clear eyes and clear skin and a clear conscience. I needed to say goodbye to this dear old friend, who had shown me, in her way, the path to living my greatest version of myself that I possibly could. I thank her, for giving me the vision to see what really matters. The sunsets, the fresh air, the children and their bright souls and gorgeous minds, the beautiful things I am a caretaker for that are no longer a chore but a joy in my life and that I am now fully cognizant of and completely grateful for. I am overjoyed at the fact that I finally listened to the little quiet voice of reason.
I use the tools that keep me sober
every day in order for this to work for me.
This is me at one year sober last May 10, 2016. I no longer crave alcohol at all. I no longer envy those who drink. I have no danger of relapsing because it's not even on my radar anymore. My lifestyle has completely changed. I am giddy, energetic, truly happy and hopeful every single day. Life is still life, it needs to be seen to, so this means it isn't always perfect. The difference between now and then is, I use the tools that keep me sober every day in order for this to work for me. Which is no different than a person who drinks wine everyday to cope, right? I just switched a few key things around. Made some upgrades. Some good trades. What once called for a glass of wine, now calls for a workout at the gym. A brisk walk. An awesome mind jolting and soul stirring kundalini yoga class. 15 minutes of uninterrupted meditation time. And most importantly, connection to people who get it. A tribe (or hive, if you are a bee lover like moi!) of folks who have also quit using drugs and alchohol. Replace the alchohol you drink with awesome new habits - keeping your mind only locked into the present moment. These small pushes towards reprogramming yourself will lead you to your own breakthrough.
But the main ingredient is persistence in these changes. If you stop or take for granted any of your new habits/tools, you will lapse right back into longing for something you really don't need in your life. Like drinking. You don't need drinking in your life*! So the trick is to keep up. Remember, Routine Is Queen! Stick to your new habits all the time.
We are just getting started here, but more soon on this exact thing - you will discover your own Tipping Point and finally once and for all, quit the demons and kick them to the curb where they belong. I love your soul. G xo
*A conversation starter, right here.