Why I'm A Buzzkill; Part One of Two Delicious Parts

People - it's radical and evolutionary and brave to pour that bottle of ethanol down the sink.

So sometimes when I go "medieval on your ass" online about sobriety surprisingly I get a ton of support. Mostly from women who are sober, a few who aren't.  The ones who aren't sober are intrigued by it, as if the question of their own drinking habits had never been a fleeting thought in their minds, ever. They offer kindness and curiosity.  I happily explain my lifestyle choice only when asked.  But hell yes I share about sobriety and often.  Why? Because I am living a life I absolutely love, and to think for a moment that another woman somewhere could wake up tomorrow morning full of self-loathing or even a mild tinge of regret about the three wines or bottle of tequila they sucked back last night is more than my conscience can stand.  And I want to help - simply because at one time I was that woman.  And because I'm not quiet about things I love.  I'm sharing the wealth baby.

I'll tell you what I do not get, and that is a ton of support from the men (or women who think like men).  I know this because of the cricket thing.  As in, you can hear crickets because they just aren't saying anything. Not a congratulations, not a fuck you.


Which spells out one thing for me...they clearly have a lot of un-patriarchy-ing to do. Because they aren't comfortable with women taking their power back.  Because they like women drunk and disorderly because we are more pliable and easier to control when we have a monkey on our back.

This post isn't to bash men.  I have several honorable fellows in my life that I look up to very much. I'm speaking directly about patriarchal society as a whole.  There are even some women out there so blind to it (the patriarchy) that they side with their husbands and defer to them the minute the going gets tough, instead of trusting in their own knowledge and gut. (I speak from prior experience.) It is my belief that these women are just fearful (again, prior experience and all), and it's up to women like us (sober or not) to light the path.  Because in each of us is a bright undying light and drinking dulls the fuck out of it, whether you realize it, whether you have a "problem" or not.  It does. No question.

So here is the basic premise.  We are all showing the world what we want the world to see when we drink.  Here is an example for y'all.  This garden snail is your average human with a drinking problem.  No offense to the humans or the snail in this scenario - simply using both as an example. Take a good hard look at this snail:

What do you see? Spring time, check.  Healthy soil, check.  Sunlight glinting off a perfect shell, check.

What don't you see? Hmmm? Well, like most humans who are hiding, rationalizing, justifying or denying their drinking habits...this is actually an EMPTY SHELL.  You know why? Well in actuality this photo was taken a week or so ago, after a long hard winter (or kind of like a long hard night of drinking?) and this snail is not even in there.  It's an empty shell of a snail.  What you see on the outside is not what you get on the inside.  Ethanol destroys lives, and whether or not you appear or act normal on the outside is irrelevant, because you and I both know that the snail and you can relate.  And we want to be lit in there, fill up our shells, to be truly alive in this world. If the snail could give us his opinions right now I'm sure he'd agree that he would like to be in his shell too.  But he was at the bar last night and now he's off somewhere slithering around asking all his bros if anyone has seen his shell...where oh where did he leave his shell? In the cab?  At that cute lil snail chicks house? Where? It all went downhill when Gary started ordering those fucking shots....you get the idea.

How does this tie in with patriarchy? Well, this snail wants you to think it's got it all together. Just like humans do. There's a masculine bravado about drinking, about earning it, about deserving it. There is a false sense of power about it. Women take this on too, not just men.  So like our poor snail friend up there, we end up just polishing our empty shell to show the world day after day when really, we just want to get all up in a smoothie and a yoga class and maybe take an afternoon off work to re-calibrate ourselves and get a little more in touch with the sacred feminine side that is emerging.  And it is emerging guys, you can't stop it.  It's a cosmic fact.  This new Aquarian age is an actual thing and it will transform your very being and that is precisely why you were led here to read this today.  You is about to make some changes! There are no accidents, you are meant to read this and it's meant to be a catalyst for either A) helping you to reach out and get the help you deserve, or B) bolstering your argument that people who quit drinking are so fucking perfect and think their lives are so much better than ours!

Well, you get to choose A or B which is the beautiful thing about life.  Take what you need, leave the rest. But if you need help, get it.  Don't worry about how your shell looks on the outside, it's time to concern yourself with the contents of the shell.  Your soul, your life, your beautiful fucking life that gets thrown up into the toilet after a major bender.  You can get help from real people who really did too many shots as well and they too wandered around looking for themselves after a night or a decade of debauchery.  We know the road, we helped pave the goddamn thing! We understand you.  And we know this, you can change.  YES, YOU. Because if we can, you can too. Reach out, you will be so glad you did.

To wrap up today's post I will say this, you would be wise to give careful consideration to your old and outdated conditioning about drinking that is firmly rooted in patriarchal societal norms.  You must give new viewpoints on these subjects a chance and room to breathe even and especially if you disagree with them. Life on Earth is ever evolving...you can either keep up with it or be left behind. That's no threat, just my humble yet strong opinion.

In part two on my next blog coming up, Feel It To Heal It.  Coming soon.

Love your soul...G xo

Promote what you love, don't bash what you hate.  
- Unknown